When I moved to Washington State, my mother called the mission home and asked for the address for Elder Zaragoza...sneaky mother!
(Actually, I asked her to. Full disclosure.)
I wrote him a friendly, chatty letter, knowing full well that letters are catnip to missionaries - they loved to get them, especially in the days before email was available.
He wrote a very enthusiastic response, and followed up with a picture of a doll in a wedding dress and a picture of a wedding ring - even though he said he had no expectations between us, there was no doubt what he wanted.
We kept writing every week, for the next six months, which were the last six months of his mission. I sent him a bouquet of cookie flowers, and he sent me back a picture of him opening them up, with his big mega-watt grin. The mail lady at my work loved to hear about each letter - she looked forward to them even more than I did.
I think I almost broke up with him once, but the letter he wrote back after I told him we needed some space was so sweet I got back together with him.
When he got home from his mission, we arranged to spend Christmas together at his family's house in Manteca, CA. Our official first real date. He picked me up from the airport, and by the time we got to his parents' car, he was doing Three Stooges impersonations, and I was wondering what I'd gotten myself in for. But I met his family, and they all seemed very nice and accommodating.
I spoke at his mission return at church, when he spoke (still not quite sure how that happened, but it did).
He took me to a gazebo in the center of town, and read me a poem he'd written for the occasion, and officially proposed to me there. I'd already told him I would say yes when he asked me, so it was a pretty done deal by that point. Had our first kiss that night.
When I went back home, he gathered all his stuff, and all of his great-aunt's stuff (she had just passed away, and that was our first furniture for our apartment). Then he drove it all up to Washington State in the middle of a storm that neared hurricane-level winds. He said there were a couple of times when he thought the bolts on his truck would come off, and all our stuff would go down an icy ravine.
He looked pretty tired and worn-out when he got there, but he got into our new apartment and everything was fine from that point on.
How long did you know him/her before you got married?
From the moment I first laid eyes on him, to the moment we were married, was probably less than two years. Maybe less than a year.
We dated by mail for six months, got engaged as soon as he got off his mission, and were married two months later.
Where and when did you get married? (Include date, place, church, etc.)
We were married in the Seattle Washington temple of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, on Saturday, February 13, 1993 (or was it 1992? I can never remember). Sam really wanted to get married in the Washington DC temple, where he served his mission, but our finances wouldn't allow for a long trip like that, and I didn't care which temple it was in.
Describe your wedding ceremony.
It was a lovely day - I showed up for my wedding in my favorite long blue dress, with Sam's letterman sweater that he brought up from his home in California. His sister Dede was our chaperone, riding up with us to make sure we made it there safely.
When we got there, there was a little preparation to do first. Sam had already been through the temple, having served a mission, but I hadn't yet. So I had to go through the preparatory ordinances that Church members go through in order to get sealed (our word for 'married').
I wasn't sure what to expect, since I'd never heard anyone talk about what happens in the temple. Some parts are especially sacred, and we don't talk about those outside the temple (although there's nothing there that can't be found on YouTube, probably).
We dressed in all white clothing, and got started. The first part I went through is called the initiatory, which consists of a lot of blessings and promises for being faithful to the Lord and keeping the promises we make in the temple. I thought it was really lovely and nurturing myself. My mom was with me as my guide, so it never felt scary or weird, and I always knew what to do next.
The second part of the preparation we call the endowment, which consists in making more promises and learning about the Lord's plan for his children. Again, I can't say much specifics here, but my first endowment (I've done many since that day, in proxy for other people who have passed on) really blew my mind. It was a lot of information, and really an amazing experience.
I think Sam was a little disappointed that I wasn't looking over at him more often (we were in love, after all, and he loves flirting), but I was completely engulfed in the experience of the endowment. It was enriching and strengthening and wonderful, and an experience like none I'd ever known before.
After that, the temple workers took us to the main sealing room. Our family members who came out were there - my mom, my brother and his very pregnant wife, and Sam's sister Dede. Some of our friends from the singles ward were there, as well as our bishop, and it was great to see them.
The whole sealing ceremony is very simple - takes just a couple of minutes - so the sealer took some time to talk about marriage and give us some well-meaning advice, none of which I remember to this day. I was too nervous about what was happening and what it all meant, and too full of everything else I'd just learned.
When the sealer declared us husband and wife, Sam's eyes got super wide, which made me laugh. He told me later that he felt like he'd woken from a dream he'd had since he was a little boy - he'd wanted to get married since he was five years old. Then he kissed me so hard I thought I might have broken a tooth.
And that was it. We were married.
Did you have a honeymoon? Where did you go?
If it had been up to me, we would have gone right to the Best Western and stayed there the whole weekend. That was our honeymoon, because I had to be back at work on Monday, since I didn't have vacation time to spare.
But Sam wanted a wedding reception, so we went over to the church after getting settled in at the hotel.
It was terrible. I'd tried to plan this party, and nearly went mad doing it. My friend Jen and her mom graciously stepped in, and saved it from utter disgustingness, but there's not much you can do with $300, which was our reception budget.
We got a free room at our church, a smaller side room, since we weren't inviting many people. A Wal-Mart sheet cake, with a little bride and groom on it. Some red fruit punch. Sam and I were dressed in blue and white sweats, since I couldn't afford a wedding dress and our 'theme' was eloping, and I immediately regretted doing that as soon as we walked in. Jen had put together a giant lacy heart, where we stood to receive guests.
I still didn't socialize very well back then, so it was this whole room of people standing in line with their cake and punch, no one knowing anyone, and staring at us. The worst possible situation for a monster introvert like me.
My gosh, and then we sang. I think I was Andrew Lloyd Webber's "Love Changes Everything". A total cringe-fest.
Still, I pretended to have a good time, since it would have been awful to do anything else. Everyone brought some nice presents. Someone took pictures, and I still can't look at them, decades later, without cringing.
So that's what I'll tell my girls - always spring at least for the dress, and a makeover. You've got to look at those pictures someday.
So then we went back to the hotel and left my mom and sister-in-law to clean up (bless them!) And I was back to work on Monday.
Sam promised that we'd have a real honeymoon, and we did - two years later, we went to Colonial Williamsburg and Busch Gardens for a week, and I have much better memories of that trip. :-)
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