Pregnancy and childbirth - and yes, some of you might be thinking, "Oh, but it's such a beautiful time" or "I felt terrific, empowered, etc."
Yes, and I felt those things too. Some of the time.
But when you're trying to make a family work under poverty conditions, those good feelings really don't last long. And then you feel guilty that everyone else is enjoying pregnancy, and you're not, and you might be hurting the baby because you're not.
And then you're really not enjoying yourself.
Because, from where I was at at the time, it was uncertain, and stressful, and frightening, and inconvenient, and I felt like a beluga whale instead of a woman.
You know what got me through it?
God, a good and reassuring husband and family, and warm showers and journals.
I can't even re-read those journals today. I tried. Brings it all back. But I still love showers.
What is the scariest thing that ever happened to you?
The movie 'Jaws'. When I was six.
No six-year-old should see that movie. I don't care what the rating says. We watched it again this weekend, and it still made me jump. And ever more determined never to swim in the ocean or any other body of water I can't see into. And logically I know the statistics - more likely to be struck by lightning or get into a car accident than killed by a shark.
My chances are even slimmer than that - because I'm never going in the ocean in the first place.
I've never been in the ocean any deeper than my ankles, and I never plan to. If I ever am on accident, I am prepared as possible - I know how to smack a shark in the snout when attacked, and how to make myself look less like a seal, and...
Well, if the worst happens, I can always die...just in case my brain ever tries to resurrect those shark attack dreams. I'll probably just die. Jump headfirst in its mouth, or something like that. Who wants to live through something like that?
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